My goal is to to grow in all directions.
Hola Stan, I don't know if this helps, but I'll give it a try.
Since being in Ecuador on a gold prospecting trip, my life has changed a lot.
I always was able to travel, try out many things, was healthy and pretty free, but something was always missing.
I thought it was more money, more success in treasure hunting and gold prospecting, more women, the place I really want to live.., but the more I tried to get it, the further everything went away.
Then a special woman I had strange dreams about for many years, but always pushed them away as nonsense, came to give her first exhibition outside the US, in my hometown Munich. Strangely she came a couple of month after I visited New York, her hometown, for the first time on the stopover to Ecuador. (and I have to admit that I visited her former highschool to be at least one time at a place she actually has been)
What was really weired was, that she arrived with a hydrogenpowered car, my vision, my dream since schooltimes and the title of the exhibition meant translated something like: "I exist. Send me to me."
So I was pretty curious about what would happen at the Vernisage.
But nothing, I just couldn't connect. Two of her paintings and sculptures, though have really touched me. One called:" Mon enfance" was a child in a wooden box with many long sharp nails pointing to it and another "Je suis toutes maintenant" a woman facing an opening in a cloudy sky.
Back then I had no idea why they have touched me so much. But over the last years I found out why:
"I'm everything now" has showed me that I was not and I also have left the path to become everything. Which means for me happy, healthy, wealthy, sharing, creative - growing in all directions, not just in a materialistic way, but also in spiritual way, creating value for others, looking behind the five senses, getting really in contact with nature, learn constantly.
The nails in "My childhood" showed me not just that I had nails from early childhood, but also how much these old programmings were still running and influencing me, hindering me to become "everything" and with a lot of studying, hypnosis, soulsearching also how to reprogram myself.
Difficult to describe, but now I feel like having been in a remote contolled life for more than four decades, just reacting to outside circumstances instead of creating the circumstances.
I think I was so deep in this "hypnotic trance" of old programmings, society and media influences, that I couldn't escape myself, that I needed cancer to wake up.
That was the next weired thing, when the woman came over to me, I couldn't look into her eyes. Something inside blocked my eyelids and said that I have no right in to, not in my condition...
That's why I went to a doctor and insisted on a further check up and found out...
Since that, I can't travel that much anymore, can't work for quick cash, but my life has become abundant like never before, because I decided to grow in all directions and also to take more responsibiliy for what's going on in the world, have more fun, allow myself to be creative and look behind the five senses, follow my intuition and it works.
I wish I had found in another way, but I wouldn't like to change back.
Stan's response: After our adventures together in Ecuador, I consider you a very good friend Franz. I'll be sending you good energy and wishes for even more, continued spiritual growth and wisdom.
Waking up from the "hypnotic trance" has been my pursuit for years. The trance is so well-hidden.
Don't forget, we still have to go find the source of the rubies you discovered here!